Reply to His Family Bringing Up His Ex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]You need to chill out. Why do you feel like you're second string? Are there other issues than his family asking after his ex?[/quote]

It's not something I bring up to him or I'm all angry about. I know I'm not 2nd string to him by any means. He didn't marry her after 7 years and a kid, and he could have pursued having them back together and he didn't. I just wonder if his family thinks of me as, essentially, a nice enough replacement for the woman they wish he was with, because they always are asking about her. Right in front of me.

And I know how important family is, so I would prefer not to spend the next 50 years with people who wish he was with someone else.

[quote]My brother is divorced with a kid. I don't ask him about his ex other than if it directly relates to a kid issue. But that might happen often.

I will say, however, that for 10 years my brother has tried to foster a relationship with us and his ex for the benefit of his child. We are an extension of the coparenting. So she's part of the extended family due to the child. And I don't want to tiptoe around that. Maybe your boyfriend is the same. [/quote]

This I completely understand, especially around holidays or family events trying to coordinate seeing his kid. But what do you mean by foster a relationship? Like, wanting you all to keep in touch and visit with each other?[/quote]

We are cordial. We all participate in transporting the kid to his activities. We sit together at his activities. We occasionally do kid-related activities together where it would be nice for the cousins to be together. We don't do anything together outside of kid activities.[/quote]

Oh. OP, I'll add  that brother tries to foster the relationship between us because his ex wife cheated on him and we wanted to wring her neck. We are cordial for the child, period.  [/quote]

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