Reply to BIL asked for money for divorce lawyer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I assume you and DH agree that he needs to get a divorce ASAP under the circumstances.  Can you afford to lose $3,000 if BIL can't pay it back?  It seems unlikely he will, given his upcoming unemployment and divorce.  If you gift him $1,000, where is the remaining $2,000 going to come from?  I would not give him any money until you and DH know the answers. It is likely that more requests for financial aid will be forthcoming, so keep that also in mind. [/quote]

OP here.   Yes, DH and I are in full agreement that we're not BIL's ATM.  If he racks up lawyer's fees, we're not paying them.

He didn't actually want the divorce, but his wife is moving ahead with it.  For some reason, he's determined to beat her to filing first; we're not sure why exactly, but I believe it's b/c he wants to cut her off ASAP.  They live in different states (he moved due to work relocation- she was supposed to follow with the kids, but 3 years later, has not) so he's maintaining two households. However, she's claiming a permanent disability due to an injury sustained during a recent domestic dispute (both at fault) and therefore isn't working or paying the household bills.

He's asked their other brother for help too.  At this point, that brother is disinclined to help, but may do so in the end.  The wife has almost all the personal property that could be sold and won't let BIL have it.  I would say we can't afford to lose $3k. Technically we have it, but we've also had to dip into savings for a rash of unexpected expenses as well recently.[/quote]

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