Reply to Grandchildren litter bias. Nurture or Nature...?

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[quote=Anonymous]So here's the deal: My husband has 2 sisters. One has 2 boys aged 16 and 22. The other has no children and is a second mom to those boys (who all live in the same city states away from here. My husband and I have 2 boys too, aged 4 and 2. We had kids later, obviously.

My husband's parents are excruciatingly close and vomit-inducingly affectionate with the older litter of grandchildren. They've been to EVERY SINGLE special milestone occasion event for these boys. They are a 5-6 hour drive from them and a 9 hour drive or flight away from us. They call, they correspond electronically with them, and what not.

These grandparents know all of the latest happenings with the goings ons with these boys and go on and on about them down to basketball game scores and girlfriend woes. My boys? I get an biannual "please send me a list of possible Christmas/bday gift ideas as I have no idea what their interests are" message.

So here's their relationship with my sons: I get "likes" on Facebook whenever I sporadically post about my offspring. On my eldest's 4th bday, my husband tells me, "let's call mom and dad for 4 year-old's bday." My response: "Um, shouldn't it be the other way around?" We call, grandpa answers, and he says that grandma can't come to the phone because she's already invested too much time on hold with the cable company about a problem (we've all been there, it sucks, but shit!) and to call back tomorrow. Yes, US call THEM back for our son's bday.

Now for the caveat and the window of opportunity for you folks to write me off as a selfish bitch: Grandpa's health is not good and started deteriorating around boy 1 (4) was born. It's very difficult for them to travel via car or plane (I will concur with this sentiment). Grandma takes care of him and is very stressed out.

But sh*t, we bought you a freaking iPad for Christmas 2 years ago so you could freaking facetime and it's proven to be a real one-way street. And when we do, there's little interaction between them and the g-children.

Granted, they are old and depressed because they can't live the free-wheelin' life they once led, but man.

We went to their house for T-giving and husband had conversation with sister (the one with kids) about how she talked with mom and mom cried on the phone about how she's so sad she can't have a relationship with our boys due to her circumstances, blah yada blah. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to kick sh+t off with her! I think she's just feeling sorry/guilty for herself.

Anyway, while there for T-giving, she never engaged with my sons and hugged and loved all over the older litter. One morning, my boys woke up at 5 and I heard a door slam downstairs because of it (hello, sucks for us , too!). Excuse me if my kids' schedule, routine, eating habits, etc. are completely thrown off and people are ignoring them on top of it!!!

Anyway, this is mainly a vent. Please tell me if I'm just a vile wench or if I deserve some commiserating.[/quote]

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