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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me tell you that I write as someone who was very bitter after my split.

1) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST.  Do what you need to do to establish balance in your life.

2) forgive her.  This DOES NOT mean be friends with her necessarily.  If that comes at some point because you feel it's beneficial to you or or your child, that's fine.  If you are never friends with her because it hurts or you just simply can't trust her, that's totally fine too.  She hurt you and no, she doesn't deserve your friendship.  I'm telling you to forgive her because that will help YOU move on.

3) I certainly think you need more space from her right now. Obviously the feelings are still raw.  I'm sure a part of you feels good when you talk to her and things are almost good between you.  Then you remember what she did and you get mad all over again.  This cycle is going to continue you until you heal.

4) From this point on, think about what's good for your child.  Period.  It's not about you two.  It's about the son you have.

Good luck.  It really sucks when someone who you considered a friend betrays you like this.  My heart goes out to you.[/quote]

OP here.  Thanks for this input.

1.  I am for sure taking care of myself.  I'm doing what makes me happy.  I'm no longer allowing my feelings toward her dictate my attitude and daily life.  I no longer wake up and the first thing I think about is her or our split.

2.  I am working on the forgiveness.  I've come a long way based on the months leading up to our split and the months after.  I thought it would take me a lot longer to feel like I do today about everything.  But i don't truly forgive her at this point.  But I think given what I've said in the first post, I'm moving that way.  No use continuing to cry over spilled milk.

3.  You are probably right.  Even though I feel things are good between us, I should probably just let that be and keep my distance.  I've noticed I've used her for advice lately and she has done the same.  For years we would constantly bounce things off each other so it feels natural to go to her when something comes up where an outside opinion would be nice.

4. What is best for DS has been the goal  since the day we started going downhill.  We never argued in front of DS.  Nobody, including family, knew what was going on.  And now, DS comes first between us.  We don't let personal feelings come in to the discussion. If DS needs something, we figure out what is best with his best interest in mind.  I am grateful for this everyday that we can maintain a healthy parenting relationship.

And yes, betrayal sucks.  Never did I ever think she would have done this to me.  I thought were above this as individuals and a couple.  It really changed my view on the type of person she is.  When I see her, I don't miss her beyond the friendship we shared.  I am no longer attracted to her.  I no longer love her.[/quote]

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