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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have done rounds and rounds of counseling. DW needs counseling on her own to deal with all sorts of issues stemming from her childhood - death, abandonment, abuse, etc.  She is verbally abusive when angry, which is all the time, always demands compassion but rarely gives it and has purposeLy isolated he self from my family, all of whom have been willing to help.

I need my own life back and csnnot be my DW's punching bag for all her frustrations and anxiety. Please understand that.[/quote]

OP, you sound exactly like my ex.
That's what he used to tell his friends and family, which could not be further away from the truth. 
He hated the fact I gave concerts out of town/country. I would clean and tidy up our place, be out of town for a week-end and would come to a filthy, totally unkept place, with dishes piled up in the kitchen, clothes hanging from every chair, and a really dirty bathtub because he would use the bathtub to wash his clothes in even though we had a new washer and drier inside the house. 
When I got upset, he would tell me I was being verbally abusive and that he was not my punching bag.

OP, are you sure you're not exaggerating everything she does by, let's say 200%? [/quote]

x2.  I am not buying the OP's whining, "poor me" attitude for a second.  Especially given the apparent emotional disconnect/complete lack of empathy for his wife.  It's a sob story that has a lot of holes. [/quote]

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