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[quote=Anonymous]So back in April I was dx with Breast Cancer. Had surgery, chemo whole thing. The cancer isn't the point, the point is my literally crazy BIL.  This is a bit long so sorry.

So him and my sister have been having issues. Prior to my BC dx she came and stayed with me after her husband had been accusing her of cheating on him(There is no cheating, think he has delusions with morbid jealousy) and tried to choke her. Stayed with me for about 7 wk then had counseling and went home. All was ok, then I got my dx and she came and stayed with me after very extensive surgery.

Now husband up to this point hasn't been himself, but not trying to choke her either. Was on and off meds, his choice, and not really reliably taking them in the first place. So about a week -10 days after my surgery he comes to my house and wants my sister to tell him when she is coming home. From his demeanor it looked like he was in full out crazy mode. His college age daughter was also there to see his melt down into psychosis. I was sleep in my room and didn't know about this till weeks later. So she makes him leave with threat of police. Now the real crazy shows up. Stalking all through my neighborhood (NW DC), constant call of my sisters cell(mine too and house phone), following her at work and she sees his car when she is out walking the dog. So just psycho behavior.

Worst part is while I am getting chemo he shows up outside my house ranting and raving not once but twice out of 4 sessions of chemo. Shows up on the worst day after chemo. I found out the first time when I was trying to just walk to the car one of my neighbors ask who "XXX" is (my sisters name). I tell him it is my sister, who is right there with me helping me to car, and she then informs me that BIL was outside of home screaming for her the night before. I inform her that that sort of behavior won't be tolerated. Tell my neighbors to call the police if he pulls it again. He does same thing after my 2nd session of chemo. I witness it this time and call the police on him. Love DC police, they take potential domestic violence very seriously. Tell him to stay away from this house and he will be arrested if he returns to my property uninvited. So last 2 sessions of chemo he was a no show. He eventually go put on meds that he actually started taking and has some what calmed his behavior. He has been diagnosis with "Behavior disorder". Not schizophrenia, no bipolar, not manic , not depression. From what I can find out about Behavioral disorders(which by the way are almost impossible to treat) it is a good way of saying someone is an a$$hole and they can't control themselves. Now I know that isn't nice in this age of  PC and mental health but it seems like it comes under the medical diagnosis of "Idiopathic" which means they don't know what to do about him. My sister stayed with me for 4 months after my surgery and has been home for about 1 month. He is on anti-psychotic drugs. Has stopped some of the stalking behavior. Let me put it another way hasn't stopped it but he is better at hiding it. Still thinks sister is cheating on him. Constant question about where she is, what she is doing and with who. They are also in counseling.

Holidays coming up. I am not going to their home and pretend that all is well and wonderful with all the things he has done. Medication is acting like a chain restraining a rabid dog. My question is am I being unreasonable in not wanting to have a fake holiday at his house and pretend all is right when I just want to punch him in the face for showing up at my house and being a lunatic while I am going through chemo and post-op after my surgery? I have been through a lot this year. Last thing I want to do is spend my holidays in the home of an a$$ who is convinced my sister is cheating on him.[/quote]

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