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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My boyfriend has decided to quit drinking. I don't know if you get an official diagnosis as an alcoholic, but at the very least he has a drinking problem (controlling how much he drinks, behavior when drunk, etc.)

I am a casual/social drinker of beer only. (I don't drink liquor and rarely drink wine) To support his decision, I agreed that we won't keep any sort of alcohol in the house. I generally have a beer or 2 a couple nights a week at home, so that's going to be a change for me, which is fine. We also won't go out to the bar or drink when we go out on 'dates'. I usually have a few beers when we're out to dinner or something, and we would meet other couples on nights out. So, again, another change I am more than willing to make to accommodate him.

The problem is, he doesn't want me to [u]ever[/u] drink again. Even when I'm not with him. So, if I go out with my girlfriends, I can't have a beer with dinner with them. If we go to a special event, like a wedding, vacation, party, (something that doesn't happen on a frequent basis), I cannot drink there either. I asked if this is something while he's getting adjusted to not drinking. He says no, as long as he doesn't drink, I shouldn't either.

[b]I feel like this is abnormal and is less about supporting him and feels more like him being controlling.[/b] But, I have never been around a recovering/sober alcoholic, don't attend meetings and I don't know if you are expected to never drink if you are in a relationship with them.

Does anyone know if my boyfriends requests are normal, or are they unreasonable.[/quote]

You're not wrong. I've been in AA for 21 years. The newly sober person should worry about his own drinking and shut up about everyone else's drinking. He is reasonable to request no alcohol in the house and no drinking around him, because it makes it difficult for him to refrain from drinking if it's around him. It is not reasonable for him to tell you to NEVER drink again. It's not his decision to make. It's yours.

There is a great book called The Recover Book which may help you with this situation.

Good luck.

That said, if he's that adamant about it, you may not have a relationship if you decide to drink.  [/quote]

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