Reply to Don't look forward to holidays anymore

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[quote=Anonymous]I think there's one clear thing that needs to happen here, in terms of family boundaries.

Ideally, DH says, "Mom, we're inviting you and Dad to dinner.  Please stop asking is my sister is coming.  The people we want to see are you and dad, and we're not obligated to invite her every time we invite you.  My relationship with sis is my business, not yours, and I'm asking you to drop it."

MIL has no business trying to micromanage the relationship…AND *you* have no business thinking of her as any kind of *matriarch* who needs to fix it.  Please.  That's between SIL and you and DH.  MIL gets to invite whomever she wishes to your home, just like you.

Meanwhile, try to find a mental resting point about your SIL.  Accept her for the kind of annoying person she is, the kind of person who won't apologize for interfering.  And then only see her as frequently as you and DH feel necessary.  If that means occasionally a holiday at home and seeing MIL and FIL separately, that's ok.  But work that out with your DH, dealing with who your SIL is and drop wishing she'd be someone else.[/quote]

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