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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I see where your SIL was a pain but it sounds like your MIL has done the best she could in the situation. I'm not sure what you have against her other than she was unsuccessful in getting SIL to apologize. But she can't be held responsible for the actions of another adult. She tried and that in itself is above and beyond.

IMO, If you have problems with something your SIL did 2 years ago, you should have discussed it directly with her.  The next best thing seems to be your husband speaking to her directly, which he did, and she still didn't apologize.  He failed just like your MIL did. So to me it seems the only logical person to be upset with is your SIL.  You all tried to resolve it.  Your SIL continued to act boorishly. You can't do anything about it, so it's time to move on. I wouldn't hold the entire family accountable for the actions of one adult and hold it against them that this issue didn't get resolved. I see nothing the rest of the family is doing as dysfunctional.  Mildly annoying maybe, but not dysfunctional. Should your MIL freeze family relations in time because of this? I don't think that would be the healthiest approach either.

You don't have to be pals with the SIL. Just be courteous. Or else you risk alienating your daughter from grandparents and other extended family. Is it really worth that?[/quote]

I think  I was just rambling. SIL is definitely difficult but something I've noticed this then is a trend in the family not communicating.  MIL may be upset with me, or DH or may have a problem and we would never know it but just sense something is off.  She can be extremely nice and generous all of a sudden and then other times cold as if there is something wrong.  Maybe she is going through something herself.  In my family, if there is a problem, we address it.  If one of my brothers or sisters is out of line, my mom puts them in their place.  She demands that we all respect each other and her and it just doesn't seem to happen in DH's family.

I'm always courteous to SIL but the event is just not enjoyable when it is so awkward and when there is tension.  She is on the insecure side and will end up washing dishes in the kitchen all day or sit in another room to watch a game to avoid conversation.[/quote]

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