Reply to Husband Neglectful In Front Of Children. Advice?

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[quote=Anonymous]My dad was like your husband and it was an awful example for my brother and me. I didn't understand that I should seek a partner who respected me more, and my brother has gone horribly overboard in gift giving ($8,000 in diamond jewelry for a new girlfriend of 3 months, and nowhere near the salary to support that).

So I agree it has to change. Sit your husband down at a time neither of you is stressed, tell him you feel one of the most important aspects of parenting is modeling healthy, loving adult relationships, and it both hurts your feelings and fails to meet those parenting goals if he fails to show some effort in holidays and birthdays. Ask him why he doesn't. Does he not want to spend a lot of money? Does he feel he "should" spend a lot of money but doesn't feel it's in the budget, so he just gives up? Is he upset in general? With you? Something else?

Give him an idea of what you'd like and ask him what he'd like for birthdays. A weekend away?  A card? Dinner out? A real, wrapped present? Dollar range?   Lay it all out there and see if you guys can come up with something acceptable to both of you.[/quote]

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