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[quote=Anonymous]OP- I could have written your post. I too have a marriage that has been killed by spouses emotional and verbal abuse, substance issues, and so on. This all began well into the marriage. I believe he has an undiagnosed mental illness.

I am asking myself the EXACT SAME QUESTION and the EXACT SAME TIME. And after realizing in no uncertain terms that I didnt ever have the marriage I wanted, and knowing I literally did everything I could on my end, I am now quite clear that yes such a marriage does exist.

In fact, OP, I dare say now that you have been through what you have been through, you might even be in a better position to have such a marriage in the future, as long as you have done a full accounting on your end and can say you gave it your all. I threw so much compassion, love, adjustment, optimism into a situation that I in fact did not control. At 46 I am officially giving up on this marriage.

But I refuse to give up on life. And a happy marriage was part of my understanding of what life could bring. It was not meant to be, in my case. But I refuse to give up the idea of what I could have had. I dont want to cling on to it to be bitter, but rather cherish it as a standard that I believe is worth aspiring to.[/quote]

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