Reply to Brother leaves same-sex partner for a woman and wants to bring her home for the holidays

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m all annoyed that my brother wants to bring the upheaval from his love life home for Christmas, but let me know if I am being an unreasonable Church Lady. My brother has been in a relationship for a decade with a man who everyone in our family loves. My kids (5 and 2) have always thought of both of them as their uncles and they visit and stay with us often. We host Christmas every year, and my brother usually comes alone while his partner goes to stay with his family, although we would have loved to have him.

In the last month, my brother has left his partner for a much younger woman. He dated women and men in the past, so the woman part is not as shocking to us as the fact that she’s 22 years old and he’s close to 40. The ex-partner does not know about this new woman. She and my brother work together, and no one there suspects anything, either, which isn’t surprising since I’m sure they all think my brother is straight-up gay. The ex-partner is devastated over the break-up, and it’s a very emotional time for them with my brother just moving out of their shared home in the last couple weeks. They are going to counseling together to get through this, although my brother insists it’s over and he doesn’t love the ex any more.

I haven’t told my children about their uncles breaking up, just because I want to make sure this is a real thing. In fact my 5-year-old just had a birthday over the weekend and my brother came, bringing along a very thoughtful gift from the ex-partner. But brother also said over weekend that he plans to bring the new woman with him to our house for Christmas this year. I gently told him to think about that because it would be pretty awkward to have this young woman and sends all sorts of confusing signals to everyone involved, including the woman and the kids. Brother says he understands, but he’s already invited her, doesn’t want to be apart from her and feels bad she has no where else to go for Christmas (her family is on the West Coast and she apparently can’t get there). So now brother is saying he intends to bring the woman to town, but put her in a hotel if we aren’t comfortable having her in the house. I think that’s even more awkward in some ways, because we are making her feel unwelcome at our home but I’m assuming he still expects her to come to all the family meals, to be there for present opening, etc. I just don't think it's right for him to bring a new secret lover home for the holidays.

So I insist that he not bring her, even if that means maybe he won’t come at all, which would make us all sad. Or should I just suck it up and welcome her? In that case, I'd welcome help with a script for my kids.[/quote]

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