Reply to Very stubborn 12 year old with encopresis?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a lot of sympathy, OP. My now 8 year old has been with holding since he was 4. He does go a few times a week, and rarely now has accidents, but they still happen sometimes. He takes Miralax daily, but really it is about the behavior of pooping, not the consistency of the poop, that is the problem. He can't say why he won't/can't/doesnt like to poop, either. It is now a habit, not a behavior he consciously controls...and until he does decide to consciously change it, he'll have sore tummy and poop problems. It is tough. With my son it really isn't an issue of wanting control in a family where he gets little - he is an only child, and we follow the Alfie Kohn "unconditional parenting" method that gives kids lots of control. So this isn't caused by controlling parents...though I can see where a kid who was a perfectionist or needing to control a situation out of their control engaged in the behavior. 
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I don't think the PPs were saying her parenting was causing this problem, more that the way she described her efforts seemed very aggressive and controlling -- which may be counterproductive. [/quote]

This.

Also, PP with the 8 year old, I think you should re-think your parenting model.  Go with the Kazdin Method; it's evidence based, Kohn is not:
http://www.britannica.com/blogs/2009/02/alfie-kohn-is-bad-for-you-and-dangerous-for-your-children/
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