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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm totally crushed. Nearly two weeks since we last spoke and I still find myself crying in my car during the day. I've talked the ears off my Mom and girlfriends. So I'm posting here. Can anyone relate? How did you feel better?[/quote]

I'm a guy, but I can relate.  I have been both the dumper and the dumpee.  The last time I was really 'crushed' it was in a 1.5 year relationship.  It didn't even fully hit me for almost a month, and then the shock wore off and I kind of fell apart for a bit.  Random crying - full on sobbing, the dry-heave kind, and insomnia, etc.  It was bad.  That went on for 6-8 weeks.

What I came to understand was that a lot of the pain wasn't really over losing her - it was the pain of the ego wound of being dumped.  Doing things which made me feel better about my self and focusing on building my own ego and self-esteem back up were the key.  One of those things was going out and meeting other people.  I'm not suggesting you run right out into another relationship, but further along, that was a step that was important.  I did a more objective post-mortem on the relationship, and saw myself and my flaws and mistakes clearly - something I was doing from the get go because I blamed myself for the whole failure - and then also her flaws and mistakes.

The trouble is there is no instant magic bullet.  Time and enduring - feeling - your feelings is the only "cure".  Eventually those "love" circuits in your heart and brain - the ones that are keyed to this person - burn out.  Then it gets easier to seem them and yourself realistically and not in some idealized form.  [/quote]

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