Reply to 12 year old with encopresis, I'm at my wits end?

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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - If your daughter is otherwise healthy, I would agree that you just need to back-off at least for a while.  She has won the battle of control.  You may benefit from working with her psychologist on what approach would be best as you certainly do not want to give her any sense that she has 'won."  But the idea that age 12 she is in control of her body is a good approach.  Question has her menstrual cycle started as yet?  Is she interested in boys as yet?  Because some where there might be a better approach that rather than what you want her to do,you want her to be at ease with her body and with friends and frankly - not smelling etc.  But again how you go about this you need some professional advice on.

If you ignore this area of her life, do praise her for other areas in which praise is due.  And be sure that she has the expectations of participating in the household etc. as siblings.  My only other thought is could this be a way of getting Mom's attention over other slibling9s)?  Unusual, but it is an element of control and perhaps because she feels other areas of her life are not in her control.
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