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[quote=Anonymous]My ILs like to say they're kid people, but they aren't, and our visits can also be exhausting for similar reasons (trying to maintain our schedule somewhat, and entertaining/hosting them). The one thing they are not at all is helpful. They won't so much as put a coffee cup in the dishwasher (their own, not ours) without expecting to be thanked profusely. They really do expect to be hosted like guests.

I also have the weird dynamic with MIL. She is DH's stepmom, who joined the family after he had graduated from college, so I do understand why FIL wants time with DH. BUT, same problem here: MIL is put out by this, and doesn't want to hang out with me and the kids. She wants to go get mani/pedis, or go out to lunch at a cute brunch place, etc..

Our kids are 4, 3, 1, and I'm pregnant, so there's not a ot of opportunity for the kind of adult, relaxed vacation they seem to want, especially while staying with us.

So, we're just kind of plodding through, trying to give each person what they want some of the time, and recognizing that they're talking about us behind our backs the rest of the time (they do this with everyone else, so I'm sure they're doing it with us, too). They are just going to think we're rude and our kids are difficult (which means they require time and energy to take care of) for another few years. They only visit 1-2 times a year, so we just prepare mentally.[/quote]

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