Reply to A mom-friend outted her DD to me yesterday

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We had drinks while our girls were playing with two other girls. I asked something about if her girl was interested in boys yet, as my girl (4 months younger) is not. She hesitated, and I said, "Oh, I don't mean to pry," and she replied "I'm trying to think how to tell you without violating DD's confidentiality .... DD is identifying as bi. She thinks she likes girls right now."  I asked if she was out, and the mom said, "I think she's telling her friends one by one, as she feels comfortable telling them," so I just said "Okay, I won't tell my DD then."

But after I got home it struck me how much it seems she totally DID violate her daughter's confidentiality! Am I crazy on this one? My own DD would be SO upset if she'd told me a secret and then found out I was telling the moms of her friends! [/quote]

YOU asked the question, what did you want her to say?  You sound like the type who would be pizzed if she had lied to you now and then you found out later that DD was bi.  It's not like she came to you with the secret.  YOU asked, SHE hesitated.   Tuck what you learned away and you don't need to tell anyone[/quote]

It would have been fine if she'd said "Oh, I made a promise to my daughter not to talk about her romantic interests" or something. I wouldn't at ALL be angry if she side-stepped the question and I later found out her DD is bi. People come out when they're ready. Of course I won't tell my DD. However, I am going to wait a few days and then talk to DD about appropriate ways to respond if/when her friends begin coming out to her. I would like for her to be a safe place for her friends to go, you know? [/quote]

Sure, but she was caught off guard and didn't think of the exact perfect thing to say. Get over yourself.[/quote]

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