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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Despairing about my marriage"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Aww honey. It's a really hard time in a marriage. It is really hard when the baby is in a mommy phase. Perhaps that is hurting your husband's feelings more than he lets on? Or he may just be feeling bad about himself and counterproductively flailing. Does he seem depressed? It sounds like both of you need a break-- from the kid and from each other. You are flailing and struggling and you need a breather to gather your thoughts. Can you carve out a set weekly time for each of you to get a break? For example, in our house I get Saturday mornings (DH takes DC grocery shopping) and DH gets Sunday mornings. It's a little oasis for each of us. Cut out some obligations from your life, if you can, and focus on getting enough rest. I would encourage you to hang in there. Little kids are tough on a marriage, especially if you haven't been married long, but you can ride it out. [/quote] I think this is wise advice.[/quote] I would agree except for the things DH is saying to the baby "Dont be a cry baby, dont be a mama's boy". That is very troublling, OP. As a person who is in a very difficult marital situation and has been for some time, I have to tell you upfront the biggest challenge is figuring out what is a character flaw or defect, and what is a person under duress. When an adult expresses contempt for an infant like that, its really important to distinguish between the two. I understand your concern for losing respect, because your instinct is telling you that right there is a sign of something very wrong. I would be inclined to advice so not dismiss your instinct, but also to give DH benefit of the doubt to explain those moments to you. In other words, provide a moment where you show DH you just want to know what he is feeling to explain those moments to you. THIS IS HARD. We probably need more information to go on here. Especially I would want more info about your perceptions of your husband spanning the duration of time you have experienced together. Honey, life is way harder than I thought it would be. It doesnt mean something is necessarily terribly wrong either. You need to proceed with best available info. Tell us more. [/quote]
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