Reply to When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

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Reply to "When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How damaging is it to children in their 20's when their parents divorce?  [/quote]

I knew a kid once...parents fought all the time loudly and vehemently, no love lost between them nor any lack of vitriol for one another either but they stayed married anyway and fought all their lives - but you know what...the kid turned out to be okay.  He's a college grad, has a great career, is emotionally stable and in a great relationship with a wonderful partner and two wonderful kids of their own.  All that craziness and counterproductive chaos between his parents didn't seem to affect him at all.

I knew a kid once...parents got divorced when he was eight or nine years old because of infidelity and they never got along after separating, always bad-talking the another to the kid and always played him against one another - but you know what...the kid turned out to be okay.  He's a college grad, has a great career, is emotionally stable and in a great relationship with a wonderful partner and two wonderful kids of their own.  All that craziness and counterproductive chaos between his parents didn't seem to affect him at all.

I knew a kid once...parents got divorced soon after he entered graduate school as they just got sick and tired of one another and wanted better lives for themselves so they waited for the kid to grow up before separating - and you know what...the kid turned out to be okay.  He's a college grad, has a great career, is emotionally stable and in a great relationship with a wonderful partner and two wonderful kids of their own.  All that craziness and counterproductive chaos between his parents didn't seem to affect him at all.

By now I'm sure you see that all the endings are the same despite the different circumstances beginning each tale.  Now this doesn't mean that certain environments and events aren't damaging...it doesn't mean that certain environments and events don't shape who we are or how function - HOWEVER, it does suggest that who we are and what we are capable of achieving as human beings is not predicated on particular environments or events in our lives and that is because each of us has inside what can be best described as an [i]indomitable human spirit[/i] that in many instances overrides all rationale and reason and defies all predictions and probabilities when it comes to what lifts us up and what holds us back and as far as what throws us off course and what guides us to our goals...
I guess what I'm saying is that it could be damaging to children in their 20's if their parents divorce or it could be negligible or it could be motivating or it could be edifying - who knows.  At the end of the day it all comes down to that individual human being and their individual innate human spirit.  [/quote]

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