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[quote=Anonymous]My sister and her husband have been married for 15 years. We are (or were) a very close family. My kids love their uncle and have been close to him since birth. The couple divorced two years ago. It was nasty and contentious. Lots of hurt on both sides. Neither party behaved well. My kids haven't seen or spoken with their uncle since. They are confused about how a family can be so close one day and then cast out a member completely. The issues are so complex, it's hard to break them down for young kids, so they know very little about the nasty circumstances of the divorce. They are hurt they can't see their uncle, and I feel torn. I want to support my sister (who completely loathes her ex), but it feels wrong to abandon my BIL too. And I think it sends a bad message to my own kids about family bonds. I talked to her about wanting to contact him for my kids' sake, and she said it was okay and seemed to understand. Then when I did, she freaked and now the whole family is mad at me. They feel I'm fanning the flames and choosing sides, which was exactly what I was hoping to avoid. Is it possible to remain neutral in such a situation?[/quote]

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