Reply to Debate about my toxic mother?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Debate about my toxic mother?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]DH and in our 30's with a 4.5yo and 17wo. We have been having a debate whether or not to include my mother in our children lives. Bear with me as this will be long but I believe to fully give opinion you will need to know a great deal.

My mother walked out on my siblings and father when I was 3. My father was an abusive drunk. I don't hate my mom for leaving but I hate her for leaving us with him. My siblings were 8mo., 5, 7.5, and 9 years old, respectively. My dad was abusuve to most of us when drunk and that's what I can't comprehend. I know my mom feared for her life but how can a mother leave her children behind with a man who is physically abusive towards them? During that time my mother built a new family with another man while we grew up in an toxic home. Fast forward years, my dad was sent to prison. My mom left us for two days in a shelter before my aunt dragged her down to get us. Living why her wasnt much better. She yelled 24/7, beat my oldest brother ( she told him cops would take him away and he would be a guys bitch in prison) and age broke us. We were called a bitch, stupid, ugly, worthless, and worse while my you her new child was coveted. From the age of 16, I was threatened to be kicked out for standing up for myself. My mom threatened us with physically abuse and getting kicked out. When I was 16 I was afraid to trust guys so I didn't date. My mom told our family I was a lesbian. She ruined every holiday and party with her tantrums. My mom is hooked on weed and was diagnosed with BP disorder but refuses medication. She treats everyone horribly, including my step-dad. My oldest sister has 3 children. My mom used to babysit them and would treat them the same ( minus physical abuse). I don't have any relationship with her. To me she is nothing but a deadbeat egg donor.

Now that I am a mom I can't fathom every treating my children this way or letting anyone like her near them. My DH had a tumultuous relationship with his dad and he passed before they could ever reconcile. He has always regretted that. DD is at the point where she is asking questions about her grandparents. DH thinks despite our past, I should put that aside and let DD have a relationship with my mom. I'm against it and don't want her in any of lives. I feel bad keeping DD from family but its my duty to protect her. I know my mom will never change and I won't let my children see and feel that level of pain that comes from her.

There is much more to the story and her bad behavior. She is toxic in every way. I don't want that in our life. My siblings either don't speak to her, or only see her on holidays. I welcome opinions on what to do and who may be correct in this situation? [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics