Reply to Husband blames me for everything

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband blames me for everything "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP Here.  I understand, and I do take "responsibility" for things with the kids.  I am far from a perfect parent.  I do things like PEP, read a ton, and am a pretty up to speed parent.  On the other hand, do I do everything perfectly and my kids respond in a text book way?  Not at all.   I guess I feel like my kids have some issues/challenges (most do!) and rather than help me with the frustration, work, etc. that comes with this, he lashes out at me.   [/quote]

OP, I think you do wayyyyyy too much explaining/apologizing and this might be why you ended up with a dude like that.  You need to get a little more assertive.  NO ONE is a perfect parents, that's impossible, so why even clarify that?  Anyone who expects that is totally unreasonable.  What matters is that your kids feel loved and supported by you, and feel that they are emotionally safe with you.  It sounds like, [b]unless your husband is ONLY directing that behavior towards you and not the kids[/b] which i doubt very much, that you do a much better job of making them feel emotionally safe than your husband does and that's what concerns me.  It would really suck if your husbands emotionally abusive "you're worthless" schtick was being directed at little kids who are still emotionally vulnerable and still forming their senses of self.[/quote]

You know, there's no real difference. The little girl gets it on some level that Dad is mad at Mum because of something she does wrong. Same for the little boy. Children pick that kind of vibe up and there's no fooling them. Their "father" is being emotionally abusive to them by being emotionally abusive to their mother. And they're learning from their parents what a marriage looks like, how a woman can be expected to get treated by a man, and how a man treats a woman. The whole dynamic is highly poisonous.[/quote]

+100 Wait until the kids get old enough to start dishing on their own. OUCH. Daddy did it -- now it's their turn. You will feel like an abused woman.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics