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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am so tired of my DH blaming me for everything that he doesn't like or that might embarrass him about our children:

My DD has dyslexia- I didn't read to her enough when little 
My DS cries easily- I coddle him too much 
MY DS is skinny-- I don't feed him well enough 
MY DD doesn't seem to have a group of friends yet -- I don't do a good job of working on play dates, etc. for her 
My DS got a concussion in sports- I coddle him 
MY DS can't handle loud places well, making certain restaurants tough - I coddle him

To be fair, my son's sensitivities are sometimes difficult to deal with.  I am the parent at home and my DH travels a lot, so I play both parental roles a large portion of the time.   Trying to talk to him about this is pointless.  I try, but I am getting angrier and angrier and the kids are now at an age that they can see what is going on.    I am the only one who cooks, shops, does homework, arranges tutors, keeps up with their school, social, and extra-curricular needs.   Just a vent I guess.   [/quote]

I had a father with a similar situation (travelled all the time and my mom stayed home) and trust me kids see whats going on and it pisses them off.  It did for me at least.

Sounds like he is a real negative Nancy and kind of emotionally abusive. How in the fucking fuck would dyslexia be your fault?  Also, i'm sure it makes your daughter feel great to have her learning disability treated like some plague. I have ADHD and if my parents had blamed each other for it and treated it like some curse rather than a special ability with unique advantages and drawbacks, I would have felt like totally shit.

I would just straight up be like:  Exactly what do you want me to do?  You want to take over these jobs if I'm doing such a bad job?  because you're out of the house all the time and I'm here alone doing both jobs by myself.

Also- and this is number one:  create a fund for yourself if you haven't already.  When my mother decided to file for divorce, the first thing my father did was try to squeeze her financially.  Most stay at home moms see a significant decrease in lifestyle when they get a divorce. My mother is SOOOO much happier now but it took some absolutely miserable years to get there.  She went from playing tennis at the country club every day to getting her electricity cut off and working as a secretary. (and this is a woman who was an executive vp of a bank before she got married.)  So it can happen to anyone, no matter your financial level.  Think about getting a part time job and start quarreling away a couple hundred here and there, or maybe a thousand if your income is large enough- whatever will not be noticeable.  That way you can choose to leave or to stay and your decision wont be based on financial duress. [/quote]

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