Reply to Sister blames me for her "taking care of" our parent.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Medicare pays 100% of the first 21 days after a 3 night hospital stay. They pay 20% for another 3 weeks, and you are maxed out after 100 days. 
Medicaid is the program that will pay for nursing home bed , you have to be eligible , ie , no $$, to qualify and you have no real choice on where you will be placed. 
This is a very common and unfortunately costly mistake to make by confusing the two[/quote]

If you go to a medicaid bed from home, you are responsible for finding the facility and 100% have the choice.  This is absolutely not true.  If you go from the hospital, usually the hospital takes the first bed available but you can refuse and choose your own.  Medicare will not pay in less someone is hospitalized and needs rehab.  Then you get transfered from Medicare to Medicaid.  The issue with medicaid is most facilities do not want to accept someone and gamble that they will get approved for medicaid.  You can apply prior to finding a facility but they will not review the case or approve it until your loved one is in a facility, in an actual bed and most do not want to take the gamble of housing someone for six months and no one pay for it.  We did it from home on medicaid, but it took a long time to find a bed-most had us apply making promises and then claimed no beds (but when you call for private pay, they have them) for months on end.  Only one facility was honest and very good.

The catch the OP has is how much did the sister spend the past five years and can she prove minus shelter and housing costs, that that money was spent on mom.  They look through several years of bankstatements and have to provide proof of things like sale of house and car (we could not prove where the car went as someone stole it from our family member, sold it and kept the money lying about it).  They did work with us, but it was not easy.

It is best to go directly after a hospitalization through medicare to medicaid.  BUT, assuming the mom is healthy enough not to need one, your only option is        to do a direct placement.

I doubt the OP sister is looking for that.  She's looking for OP to pay her monthly on top of mom's social security or other income.  I would not do that personally.  We were in that situation where the caregiver who stole all the money was demanding more and doing lots of shady things.  The nursing home is a much better situation (we did provide care for 8 months but could not continue due to her needs).  Sister will not want to giver up mom as it is a loss of income for her.[/quote]

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