Reply to Two schools of thought on homework, studying issues: 1) have DS tough it out, or 2) intervene

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DS went through something similar this year, starting a new school, and he is doing much better. I think its normal. There are new demands, its probably more difficult, and the routines are different.

I don't think it ever works for parents to get involved in the substance of homework. It just amps up the tensions at home and, if successful, keeps the teachers from seeing where the student needs help. You should set up a structure for him to complete homework. Rules about when and where and what privileges have to wait until he's done. And then encourage him to meet with his teachers one on one to discuss problems. Learning how to take this step -- asking teachers for help -- was the most valuable skill my children acquired to make them successful students.[/quote]

We have been going thru this with a younger child.  We had to take away all electronics on a week night (no tv, no ipad) because she lied and said she completed all her work and had not.  So we go back on the trust scale and we check the assignment board, check work is completed, and check the online grades to make sure things are being turned in.  Once we can go a week or two with everything completed, she gains back electronics and knows we will check on-line grades.  If she is completing work and turning it in but the grades are low, then we've told her she will need to meet with the teacher to understand what she isn't getting and it's okay to ask for help.  She laughed when I told her what I refuse to do is go meet with the teacher and complain about my kids grades and look like bobo the clown because she hasn't been completing or turning in assignments.  Oh and saying she doesn't understand something doesn't mean she is done and can watch tv. It is a process.

For  longing term assignments, a person that deals with executive functions has suggested having a calendar and actually writing down and cutting out each step to get the project done.  Then have the child move the pieces around the calendar (with that tape that turns paper into a sticky note) to show the plan to get it done.  Like Tuesday is find 3 sources.  Thursday is writing the outline.  Saturday is working on the cover.  This helps the child understand how many tasks are really part of the assignment and what is realistic to get done. If you are stacking 22 steps on the day before it is due, visually you can see it doesn't make sense.  I actually did something similar at work for myself where I wrote down all the sub taks needed to get a bigger task analysis task done and had to figure out the date when I had to complete them to make sure I stayed on track to actually have time to use the analysis and make the sytem changes needed by the end of the year.  I get distracted very easily and by nature can be a procrastinator so this type of keeping myself on task is critical for me.[/quote]

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