Reply to My kids ADORE and love my step mom but inside of me in kinda stings

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[quote=Anonymous]I grew up as a grandchild in a situation like this.

My mother's mother died when I was a newborn, after a relatively brief illness.  Grandpa had a decades long relationship with...let's call her Jane, who I came to understand was very different than my grandmother, but was and is wonderful to me.  It's been a blessing to have her in my life.

Yet, at the same time, there's always been an ache for my missing grandmother.  What it meant not to have her, some of the consequences for my family of her passing...I felt that ache all at the same time that I loved Jane.  It's complicated, what you're feeling, what your kids may eventually feel.

It took a long time for me to understand what complications my mother has felt over the years, and I give her great credit that she didn't let that show much when I was a kid and let me develop my own relationship with Jane.

You're doing a good thing letting your kids have their own relationship with your stepmother.  It's good for them to receive this love, even if it's so different in some ways from how your mom would have been, and even as it very naturally pains you.

Best to you, OP.  I think your kids will understand in time.[/quote]

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