Reply to My kids ADORE and love my step mom but inside of me in kinda stings

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[quote=Anonymous]Big hug to you Op (and others in similar situations).  I, too, lost my mother to cancer when I was 20 and she was 46. She would have been an amazing grandmother to my kids and it kills me they never knew her. I talk about her a lot to them and when doing so call her Grandma Lynn (rather than "my mother"), because one of my grandfathers died before I was born and he was never made "real" to me.  I understand and share your feelings, but in my case my father never remarried so the grandmother I am resentful of is my MIL, who gets to be my child's only grandmother and noteithstanding my attempts to make my mom seem vivid to my kids, my MIL will always be who they think of when they hear the word grandmother. I am sad for my kids to have missed having such a loving and supportive grandparent in their lives, I am sad for me that I cannot share the joy and trials of motherhood with my mom, esp as you can see much about your own childhood a lot more clearly once you have kids, and I am sad for my mom who missed out on so much by dying young. Anyway, obviously these feelings are common since but at least keep in your mind that this woman is a wonderful and kind person, in your own words. I suspect your mother would be glad to know that such a person is in her grandchildren's life, at least I would be. And look at it as a good thing that she is so different than your mom - she will never be a replacement for your mother as your kids' grandmother, just a different kind of grandmother. [/quote]

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