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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My gut tells me that you are putting your birth mother in the middle of things.  It's impossible for me to know whether she is lying or protecting him for some reason.  Remove your relationship with her from the equation (just completely separate your relationship with her from your relationship with your birth father).

If it was me, I would contact birth father yourself -- but do it discretely.  He may actually have reasons that he does not want to have contact with you.  If he doesn't respond, then you have that closure.  If it turns out that birth mom never did tell him about you, then he will have the opportunity to respond and get to know you.[/quote]

OP here.  This was my thinking when I asked her for the contact information.  Just to put something out there directly to see what would happen.  Now I would have to do the investigation to get the contact info.  And may be contacting when his perspective has made it clear that he doesn't want contact (assuming BM has told the truth), which would potentially be invasive.  I guess that I could include the information that I have in the letter, but then it makes it more difficult to write it discreetly.[/quote]

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