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[quote=Cassiopeia]It does sound like a midlife crisis. Some guys buy a Porsche, some have affairs. Your husband wants to find his soulmate. I feel for you!

I totally understand the realization that life is ending, youth is ending and wanting desperately to hang on, to fulfill your dreams, to not die with regrets.

He needs to understand that walking out on his family to pursue a "soulmate" is ridiculous. Yes, there are people in life that you click with. There is instant chemistry, you feel so comfortable with them, you can tell them anything.

You do not have to marry these people. There isn't just one soulmate. All that term means is the experience of happening to meet someone who you're chemically attuned with and both of you being lonely and wanting, needing a deep connection.

As far as what you can do, I would gently, and I know you must be seething, but gently point out the consequences of his actions on his children. Twenty years from now, will he be proud of the fact that he left his kids to pursue this foolish dream?  And it is foolish. What does he picture his relationship with his children being like then?  Wouldn't he rather set aside the dream of a soulmate in favor of the dream of raising good and healthy men?  It's a much greater gift to the world.

Also, what does he picture this soulmate being like?  What would be so wonderful about this relationship?  Personally I have never found a romantic love that came close to the depth of love I feel as a mother. I would cheerfully die for my children. Maybe if he could get in touch with his paternal love it would supplant the desire for a soulmate?  If he's looking for a deep love, I mean.

As for his longing to travel, what if he just took a vacation abroad?  Perhaps he could take a month off and go volunteer in a less developed country, or backpack around Europe.

There are ways to feel that he's living life fully without wrecking the lives of everyone around him in the process. I hope he finds them. [/quote]

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