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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Could individual therapy help me? If so, what kind of therapy should I look for?[/quote]

Yes.  Therapy will help you figure out how to get to the root of why these things bother you and then to see if you can find a way to not let them bother you, if you even really want to.  I would be willing to bet your husband is alienated from you if you're constantly having fights because you are reproaching him for not doing enough. That's often known/seen as nagging.  It's a huge turnoff.

I don't want to take sides or say "he is lazy, you are justified" or to say "you're an unreasonable nagging shrew".  It kind of doesn't matter.  A therapist can help you process whether or not you want to continue in a relationship with someone who doesn't do as much around the house as you want or not - they can't help you figure out how to change him and make him do more.  A therapist can give you strategies for how you can change your behavior to perhaps re-seduce your husband, but can't make him change and want you.  CBT is very good for learning to process emotions and learn/manage new behaviors or responses to your emotions/feelings.

But after 20 years? I bet you are both in a total rut and the marriage is toast.  Honestly: why are you married to someone who doesn't give you the love and affection you want, especially when they evidently are so unpleasant for you to live with?  That seems very very irrational...it's like refusing to trade in or sell a car that leaves you stranded all the time and is an ugly heap on top of it...why? A therapist can help you explore those questions.  [/quote]

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