Reply to How to get inlaws to say what they really think?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP - I find it very odd that your husband is so reluctant to speak up to his parents, that he would let them donate his grandfather's WW2 uniform.

What happens when you speak up in this family - do people get shouted down or just shunned?

My inlaws are similar to this, in that they constanly say (to any meal/event suggestions "Oh, we're easy!" - they never complain to your face b/c they don't want to "seem" difficult.  Only later does it come out they hated the dinner/event or whatever it was and will repeat it over and over again and ruin the night for everyone else. Three years after my wedding I found out that my FIL was throwing up after eating medium rare steak at our wedding dinner, b/c he felt so insecure sending it back and just ate it. I asked why he didn't send it back, they said he didn't want to cause any "bother".

The one way I get them to say what they feel is doing the same thing PP said, talk to them and explain what you need and why. Sometimes that makes them open up and not just say "yes" automatically.
    
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