Reply to How to get inlaws to say what they really think?

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[quote=Anonymous]DH's family is very nice, but never, ever says what they're really thinking. For instance we just moved and DH really wants a certain family heirloom for the wall in his new office (it's in their storage room). If it was my family, we'd just ask and if they didn't want to give it, they'd say no. His family will say yes no matter what, even if they don't want us to have it, but then they'll harbor bad feelings. This happens ALL the time. I feel like I haven't ever been able to get to know them because they're so guarded in what they say (and it's been 7 years!). DH is even somewhat like this around them too. For years he really wanted his grandpa's WWII uniform to frame and hang. His mom donated it to charity and he couldn't even speak up when it was leaving. He still talks about that WWII uniform all the time and what it would have meant to him.

DH and I are always running into this issue and would like some pointers. I've let DH take the lead on this, but there's just so much that's unsaid. When I ask if they like something, they say always say "Yes". It just comes off as fake and insincere and I know that they're not like that. When I ask what I can bring for family holidays they say "oh you don't need to bring anything." [/quote]

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