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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm like you and I did finally meet a nice guy. We have been happy together for ten years. I do think people who are jerks are drawn to nice people and manipulate them. I finally got to the point where I carefully scrutinized any potential boyfriends. I did finally find a good one. Hope you did too![/quote]

Me too (well, not ten years but...).

I had a couple of serious and abusive relationships in my 20s, shunned dating for many years, and then met my "nice guy." I had enough time between the bad relationships and him that I wasn't worried about making the same mistakes I had when I was younger, though there was some anxiety early on. I solved that by introducing him to everyone - friends, parents, siblings - remembering that when I was younger I ignored my family and friends when they complained about my BFs; everyone loved him and I felt confident moving forward and falling head over heels in love.

The key for me was taking enough time by myself to feel very confident when I reentered the world of dating and to take things slow. I didn't reveal bad histories for several months (I didn't want to trade horror stories as a way of bonding and trick myself into thinking we had a better connection than we actually did) and generally took my time revealing insecurities and vulnerabilities. Good luck![/quote]

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