Reply to How do I deal with family drama when it's not my problem?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Congratulations on your achievements - you've made yourself an independent, functioning adult despite your origins.  Alas, the hardest part comes now: You must learn about how to maintain boundaries that keep your family's troubles from encroaching on your life.  Details are beyond the scope of this post, but I will say keep the phone calls short, don't get involved in matters that don't involve you directly, and, most of all, don't feel guilty.[/quote]

trust me i dont feel guilty.  At first I felt like I should help make things better, but since I am not involved with these issues at all I stopped offering advice. [/quote]

In what sense are you having trouble dealing with the family drama? If you don't want to hear all about the drama, set a time limit on it. Listen for a couple of minutes, and then move on to a more pleasant topic. If you're not having luck with that, deal with it more directly. "Mom, Dad, I love you and want to have a relationship with you that doesn't revolve around Sister's problems. I'm sure it's very stressful for you and I'm willing to listen for a few minutes when something happens, but I'd like it if we could then talk about other things that are going on in our lives as well."[/quote]

good advice, thanks. It's very stressful hearing about something that I have no affiliation with. Well besides the fact that they are my immediate family. [/quote]

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