Reply to For those who have a parent living with them, how do you handle socializing at home?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a question about socializing at home if you have a parent living with you.  DH's 74-year-old father may be moving in with us.  One of our main ways of socializing is to have people over for dinner, mainly one or two couples at a time, sometimes with all the kids as well and sometimes just the grownups with no kids.  I'm wondering how FIL's arrival will affect how we entertain people at home.  Since he's a member of the family, do we just assume his presence for all social events at the house?  It seems like it might put a cramp on our ability to have people over, (do *you* want to hang out with other people's elderly parents on a regular basis??) but I also want to be sensitive to his feelings.  DH is from another country, and there things are often more multigenerational than they are here.  FIL is friendly and likes to talk, but...he likes to talk and hold forth, and he is a little moody and passive-aggressive if he feels he is not getting his due respect and not being listed to or paid sufficient attention.

Corollary question:  every few months, DH's boss, wife, and a couple other co-workers come over for a somewhat elaborate wine and dinner party.  There's lots of drinking, the boss can get a little rowdy (loud jokes, cursing, occasional bawdiness, etc.), everyone relaxes a lot and eats a lot.  It's very social, but it's also the boss.  If FIL lives with us, it would totally change the vibe of the gathering to have him sitting at the table.  In short, the boss would not enjoy it as much (nor would DH and I, but put that aside) and there would be a pall of constraint over the evening.  What do we do?  Do we have the dinner party and explain to FIL why he's not invited and needs to stay in his room for most of the time??  Do we include him once and then it'l be awkward and never repeated?  Do we just give up having the dinner parties?

Sorry this is long.  Just looking for other people's experiences in dealing with socializing at home while a parent lives with you.  Thanks!
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