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[quote=Anonymous]My husband's father died two years ago.  Within about 6months time his wife (step MIL) started dating online.  She met a man who said he was legally separated who, of course, turned out to be very much married but, of course, "no relationship with wife for a long time and wife didn't live with him".  Well, of course, wife very much lived with him but within the recent past (6 months) he says she has moved out because she caught him on social media dating sites.  S-MIL has told me all about this guy sending red flags up to me many times over.  She continues to see him in a long distance relationship.  These people are in their early 70's!

S-MIL does not live locally but visit with us 2-3 times a year.  We live about 1/2 way between her and her lover.  She is very bothered by the fact that my husband and I have no desire to meet this guy or for this guy to meet our family.  She is planning a visit to our house and in explaining her visit schedule she throws in that she has made plans for her lover to come to our house and pick her up to drive her up to his house for a visit with him. (last time she visited his place his wife was conveniently out of the country).  After I clarified what she had just told me, I said to her that I do not want him at our home and really have no desire to meet him.  After trying to convince me to meet him she became angry and said she was going to have to think about this, rethink her trip and get back to me.  I tried to say that her relationship with him is just that and that we do not have to be a part of it.

In short order, I received an email informing me that she will not be visiting as long as I feel this way about her lover and that I am being unreasonable and she hopes I will reconsider.

My husband and I discussed and decided to reply to her that we do not feel it is an appropriate time to bring this man into our family of 5 lives.  We respect her feelings for this guy and if she is happy we are happy but we have three tween boys and it is about our family and nothing more.  We hope that she will reconsider because we enjoy spending time with her and that she is always welcome at our home.

So are we being unreasonable?[/quote]

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