Reply to Funerals with kids?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Funerals with kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP please forgive this suggestion from someone who's BTDT:  your MIL is asking you for a distraction to help her manage her grief.  I have had this happen with my parents and my in-laws who have been extremely grateful to me for doing what they asked -- but here's what I did.  I dressed DD, and she and I sat in the car (or DH sat in the car with her when it was my mother making the request so I could be with my parents).  Before and after the service, when my mother or MIL or FIL 'needed' to hold DD or hold her hand or focus on her, I had her available.  She was not in the church or at the graveside until afterwards.  I don't know how you navigate the nap time, and I know I am a lone voice here, but it honestly did help our parents.

As context:  10 years before the experiences above, I attended my aunt's funeral, which was very tough in part because she had died one month to the day after her first grandchild was born.  My cousin (baby's father) insisted on having the baby at the service.  We (very conservative Episcopalian family) were all 'horrified' at his decision (which in retrospect was none of our business) but his own MIL came, held the baby (who was angelic) and handed him to my cousin at the very end, at his request.  My cousin held the baby tightly as he walked up the aisle after his mother's casket, smiling through his tears.  That's when I understood that sometimes people need the young to hold as they are grieving.  And that's probably why I heeded my MIL's and FIL's and my own mother's requests, even though they were mightily inconvenient and required a lot of adjustments on our part.

Good luck -- and I am sorry you are having to go through this -- I know it's not easy.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics