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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Anyone successfully get someone to go[b] after numerous refusals with the ultimatum[/b]?[/quote]

well, here's part of the problem. He thinks an ultimatum really isn't one, since there have been numerous ones.

Sadly, I think you should initiate separation. maybe he'll go to counseling then, if not, its for the best because the situation isn't working for you or for your daughter. [/quote]

OP here. So I phrased that wrongly. What I meant was that my husband has repeatedly refused to go to counseling. He thinks it's a waste of time. I didn't mean that I have repeatedly issued ultimatums and not followed through. I can see how it would be read that way because, well, I kind of wrote it that way.

I guess the good news, if there is any, is that I never had to issue the ultimatum. I said I would not live through another night like last night, and if he keeps blaming "miscommunication" as the crux of our issues then let's go to a third party to hold each one of us accountable for what we say. To my utter surprise, he agreed. Finally. (Last night was particularly bad, not because it was more "explosively angry" than it has been in the past, but because it just came out of nowhere and made no sense.) So he has agreed to go. At this point there's no denying we have enormous issues, so I hope it's a true offer to go. I'll call tomorrow and find someone hopefully. Thank you all for your input. [/quote]

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