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[quote=Anonymous]I'm pretty sure my mom is a narcissist. Since I realize I can't change her behavior I need to find ways to change my reaction to her. Growing up and really until I got married we were super close. Mostly just because I always did whatever she wanted so there was never anything for her to be angry with me about. As an adult who is married with children I've learned to make my own choices whether she is happy or not. Sometimes she is great, super supportive when I'm upset or having a problem and other times her reaction to me borders on insane. One time she was angry with me for 3 days because she didn't like where DH and I decided to place a tv in our family room. Other times though she is really there for me. I feel like I never know which version of my mother I'm going to get. The supportive one who listens to my concerns but lets me make my own decisions or the crazy one. She has opinions about everything so I've learned to just listen and say "ok" and pretend I'm going to do what she says. I've also learned not to over share with her. If she thinks our relationship is superficial that just makes her angrier so I have managed to find a way to make her think I tell her everything even though I don't tell her even close to everything.

My problem is that when things are great with her my guard is down and then I end up getting hurt. Today I shared with her a struggle I'm having in trying to be a good parent while feeling like I'm being pulled in so many directions (I have 3 young children) so that no one is getting enough from me. Instead of making me feel better she got annoyed with me. This whole conversation started because she was asking why I wasn't taking my youngest to any classes like I did with the older 2. When I explained why, she made me feel worse and then told me she didn't have time for this conversation and hung up on me. To be fair, she really was on the way out the door but it still was very insensitive when I was upset. So basically, my question is, how do I keep my distance mentally while letting her think everything is fine. [/quote]

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