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[quote=Anonymous]First off, please see a counselor by yourself if you are not already seeing one. This is not professional advice just my experience so....
Sounds like you are at the end of your rope. I just went through this with my husband and his drinking problem.  A couple years of trying to get him to cut back and nothing until an ultimatum. So far so good, but we're only about 4 months in so jury's still out. But, like above poster, I feel a little resentful that it had to come to that and that he wouldn't listen to me otherwise. It brings up a lot about our relationship in general but some people just don't get it until they see the alternative.  I just had a friend whose husband refused counseling. They separated on the grounds that they would get counseling, give it 3 months and see how it goes.  They went, he read a bunch of books and finally made the changes she wanted, but by then it was too late.  She was over it and they divorced.  Most therapists will say the chances of reconciliation after separation are slim.  Ultimatums are scary b/c you have to be prepared to go through with them or he won't take you seriously and will  continue to blow you/your needs off, which is not ok. Picture your life as a single mom without him.  Does it bring you peace, sadness, anxiety, relief?  Go get some counseling, if you haven't already.  Good luck to you, and take care of yourself. These things are so hard. [/quote]

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