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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have talked a bit.  He just says he did what was best for us.  It was definitely best for him but I am not sure if it was best for us as a family.  Or couple.  Maybe it was.  It's not just the decisions that were made but I feel so adrift and alone in this new life.  I think I need to reinvent myself and us but don't know how.[/quote]

One person can't make a decision that's best for an "us" -- by definition.  You both need counseling. It's not a marriage when one person is making significant life decisions for the other adult partner without consulting.

You need some time to think about how you feel about "volunteering for deployment".  In some ways, as unpalatable as it seems, deployment may give you the ability to have full custody of your child and to move back to the town you were in before where you probably have more support and better economic/employment possibilities.

You also need to consult an attorney (in addition to a therapist), privately just for an hour or two.  Run your scenario by the attorney and ask what is likely to happen if your husband deploys and you file for divorce while he is on deployment -- who gets custody? how much child support can you expect? would you be able to move back to your prior town of residence, etc.

For me, the absolute worst case scenario would be being stuck in a town I didn't choose, doing a job long distance and raising a child solo.

[/quote]
OP, please take this post to heart. Yes to the therapist and yes to the attorney. No one goes and enlists for military service without discussing it with their spouse. What made him think he could do that? It's time for you to step up and take charge here. Get into counseling. Now. [/quote]

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