Reply to I don't know whether to give up on this marriage.

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[quote=Anonymous]I am sorry in advance if this is all over the place, but my head is POUNDING and I truly don't know what to do anymore. 
 I am trying so hard to be optimistic.

My husband is having in my opinion, a mid life crisis. He acknowledges that he has changed but says it is all for his betterment. 
He goes to happy hour and the gym 3-5 times weekly, comes home and is disconnected from me. He sits in the couch until he falls asleep then wakes up and goes to bed and the cycle begins again. At least 3 nights a week he doesn't get home until 8:30 the earliest.

I do all household chores. Dinner laundry cleaning etc. he doesn't do his things like bills, pool care, yard maintenance, appliance repair upkeep etc. he waits until these things are beyond repair and then complains about poor quality. When bills are late he complains when collectors call. Everything is someone else's problem.  I will bring something to his attention and he dismisses it. If I bring it up more than once I am a nag. For years I let this behavior continue. Honestly in retrospect I have no good answer as to why.

I told him I resent him going out as much as he does and want some help around the house before it is either taken away or falls down. There is NO REASON for accounts to be behind and house to be falling down around us. A simple thing becomes a major problem because of lack of concern.

I started going to counseling. Was correctly advised(imo) to give husband deadlines that were workable and when that time passed hire someone. Oh I forgot to mention. He will NEVER hire anyone to do anything. They are all crooks! I spoke to husband he agreed! I also told him that when a bill collector had to call us for a payment i was going to pay it right then. He agreed!! Okay I am happy and we are on the right track. I told him that with the  amount of time he is actually home it was impossible to do everything. He agreed.

Okay2 appliance deadlines passed -by weeks not days. I called a repairman. He went ballistic and canceled it. Gave   Himself a new deadline. Passed weeks ago. He is attacking me saying I am demanding. Bill collectors called. I knew we had the money, I checked it first and paid. He went beyond ballistic.
I could go on and on but I am so physically ill that I have been sent home from work twice. I have serious stomach issues daily. I seriously feel like I am losing my mind. I have never been so sick in My life. I have told him actions speak louder than words and his response is that I am never happy. If you told me a year ago I would be in this situation I would never have believed it. 
After 20+ years of marriage I really thought this was going to start to be a new awesome chapter in our lives. I don't really know what else to say but I don't know if I can see us together in a years time. I can't live like this. I am sure I am leaving things out but this is long enough!!![/quote]

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