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[quote=Anonymous]I am stepmother to three children, DD14, DD13, DS9.  We have them for 8 weeks in the summer and alternating holidays. They've been mine for 4 years and we have a great relationship.

DD13 is in trouble.  She got seven conduct write-ups last year for sassing teachers.  She got Cs and Ds in all her classes in 7th grade.  She gets bullying texts and people call her a slut.  However, I have seen some of these text conversations, and she seems to be the instigator and I suspect she is the bully.  As a result she has only one friend.  The friend is her partner in crime - they do things like cut lunch and walk the mile during athletics instead of trying to run it.  Nothing horrible, but not a positive direction.  I spent a lot of time with her this summer, and I noticed that when we were playing some quiz games in the car that her spelling is atrocious.  Her nine year old brother has better spelling skills.  She hates to read and struggles with multisyllabic words.  Yet, she is so smart.  She can assemble or build anything and her speech is excellent.

I think she sasses her teachers and gets written up in class in order to distract from the fact that she cannot do the work.   I think she bullies bc she feels stupid and insecure, and she has a troublemaker friend bc that friend doesn't judge her if she fails a science test.  I am certain she is dyslexic.  I have thought this since the third grade, when I suggested to DH that she get help.  At the end of the summer, I was so frustrated and worried that I called her mom and told her my thoughts.  She agreed that DD13 needs to be tested, and she said "it's easier to hear it from you than it is to hear it from my ex."  I guess he asks her periodically to get her tested but she doesn't follow up.  Anyway, she told me she was getting DD13 tested before school started, but no testing took place.

I'm so frustrated with my DH and bio mom. I think DH is waiting for the first set of grades before he raises it with bio mom again.  I just think she is falling through the cracks and about to go down the wrong road bc no one has the time to follow up with her and get her the help she needs.

Any suggestions on how I can deal with these concerns?  Should I just nag DH some more to address this?

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