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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Borderline Personality Disorder"
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[quote=Anonymous]Heh...I'm a guy, used to be with a BPD sufferer. My sister said to me "gee, you know, the things you tell me are exactly the signs we women are warned to avoid because they suggest the guy might be an abuser". And then she would say "gee, at the end of the day, does this relationship really make you happier?" and "it just seems like you are miserable more than you are happy". There was no overt attack on the SO - you risk the abused feeling the need to protect the SO and shutting off one of the often few remaining links to "normalcy" - BPD people, intentionally or not, do classic abuser maneuvers like isolating the victim. You could ask him about how he feels the kids are doing. My sister had also gotten involved with a mental case who was somewhat emotionally abusive, and clearly we were both drawn to that kind of environment because of our FOO. My sister had already gone through a round of counseling, so she was in a better place from which to advise me. After I got out of that relationship, I did an intensive round of counseling to address my own issues - it does take two to tango, your brother is 'contributing' by engaging in the toxic dance. When I stopped participating in the drama/crazy dance, the relationship flew apart (in a matter of weeks). You might focus on your brother - talk to him about what he could do (hint: therapy) to feel better about addressing the things that upset him. [/quote]
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