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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sincerely curious to know why those of you who are not happy with your spouses married those people. Did the relationship deteriorate over time, or were your problems present before your marriage, and were you aware of them and thought/hoped they would get better? If it's the latter, did you choose to ignore red flags because you felt like that person was your last chance at marriage and family?

My marriage is fairly new. I chose to ignore some red flags before we were married, [b]feeling like if I wanted to have a family it was too late to start over with someone else[/b]. [b]He felt like the last train leaving the station[/b], and I think on some level he felt the same way about me. Plus - [b]while troubled[/b], he is a good person, and [b]I couldn't bring myself to hurt him by leaving[/b]. [b]Some days I feel like I've made a mistake[/b], and some days I don't. We are trying to start a family and there are moments when I find myself thinking twice about it. [/quote]

I am really concerned why many people are in such a 'race' to get married so they can have/do something, instead of naturally feeling that this is the person who they want to spend the rest of their lives with?! We are no longer in the 14th Century (pre-Romeo and Juliet) when everything else other than [b]love[/b] required people to get married!

Do yourself, and your future kids (who WILL likely end up with emotional scars and lifelong insecurities) a favor and quit while it is safe to do so. Good luck to your husband who will end up with either a frustrating marriage, or child support drama, should you decide to proceed on this path..... :oops:

P.S. [b]Just to add: the institution of marriage as we practice it post-Henry VIII (or even post-1945) is not for everyone.[/b] I think for whatever reason, you are equating the need for marriage with the need to be a parent.....while a traditional approach, it is never automatic that it will make you, your partner, and your future children happy. Then again, what do I know....I read too much and have gone through too much.... :shock: [/quote]

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