Reply to Husband staying with me because of the kids?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a man I will tell you what he means.  He'd rather stay unhappy with you and his family than face the unknown alone.  However, if the unknown becomes known and turns out to be a better option, then he will seriously consider leaving.  Translation: if another woman comes into his life, he might leave but as of now, he doesn't have anyone else and isn't really looking.

Your DH probably values family and the commitment he made when getting married to you.  This is a good sign but don't take it for granted.  [/quote]

I was just going to say the same thing.  I've been an OW a few times where the men had older kids and said they loved their wives but mostly they did not want to leave their kids.  They were actually really good fathers and husbands, except for, you know, the cheating.  If men aren't happy but won't leave, they usually cheat.  Just imho.

But Op, first off, stand back and take a breather for a minute.  The first year after having your first child is easily the most stressful period in any marriage.  And you guys had not one child, but two, at the same time.  Just that fact alone statistically increases your chance for ending up in divorce.

And you were both already fighting a lot to begin with.  However, by his words I would say he's reached a breaking point.

So, it's time for you two to fix things so that you're both happy.  Figure out why you want to stay together and what you like about each other.  Go to couples counseling.  Your post went on and on about the arguments you have, but nothing about why you like him, why you're better off together.  Focus on the positive things about each other.

You have two little people in the world now who are going to be looking to both of you as role models.  You owe it to them to get yourselves figured out and happy.  Whether it's staying together or getting divorced, do one or the other, but make sure you're both doing it because it makes you happy.  Don't let a man stay with you "for the kids."  That is a half life.  It's not fair to you, or to him, or the kids.  [/quote]

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