Reply to ISO Intellectually Rigorous Upper School without the pressure cooker atmosphere & WHICH TO AVOID?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP  - I doubt many people on DCUM will admit that their kids school is a "pressure cooker"  if their child is happy so you need to think more broadly about this issue.

For your DS, I would looks at schools that offer challenging academic classes, but do not expect nearly all students to take them.  You want a school open to a wide range of academically talented/interested kids, but you also want AP level (whether or not called that) type courses available in a good number, and a culture where the teachers and administration are willing and experienced in being supportive of your DS's overall mental health and well being.  A school that stresses that it seeks very independent kids in its marketing literature or a school that stresses achievement as its primary goal is not where I would look for this boy.  Equally important is the mix of kids.  You probably do not want a school with a high concentration of socially sophisticated /fast kids if you son already has anxiety /depression issues - there will be some in every private, but the percentages vary."

For coed schools, I would focus on St. Andrews, Bullis, Field and Burke, and of the others maybe Maret. From talking to other parents and personal observation, what makes a school a pressure cooker isn't the school, it is the culture driven by the kids and parents.    This is not a criticism, but an observation  If there are 100 kids in your class and 1/3 of them expect to be in the ivy league and almost all students expect to be in top 20 colleges, you are going to have a more competitive environment -- feel more pressure -- than if a smaller number of students/families have those goals and a larger share is maybe looking at top 50 or so.  Good luck.[/quote]

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