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[quote=Anonymous]I’m not sure this is the best place to post, but I thought the parents on this forum could provide better advice – if I should post elsewhere, please let me know.  I only ask for a bit of compassion.  I apologize ahead of time for the length of my post.

My son just started middle school.  He has never been tested for any special needs or accommodations, but he is clearly different than the average sixth grade boy.

In third grade we were about to have him tested for mild Asperger’s and or ADD.  He had an unofficial IEP for half a year, which helped him and his teacher communicate more effectively.  Some of his issues were – the inability to make eye contact, unwillingness to answer her questions (when directly asked), poor organization, he wouldn’t turn in homework, or wasn’t organized enough to find it.  He often looked like he wasn’t staying on task or paying attention.  Which cause more direct questions, leading to more lack of eye contact, etc.  But he was paying attention!  He understood and comprehended things even if he was looking at the floor or ceiling.   His unofficial IEP was basically an awards chart that he and his teacher would go over privately at the end and beginning of each day.  The second half of the year slowly improved.

Fourth and fifth grade presented no issues.   His teachers understood his quirks and let them be.  In fact I checked in with his 5th grade teacher on my own because I was worried that I had heard any bad news from her.  He tests high on placement tests – all above grade level/advanced.  He has a very good memory, recollection, and is an avid reader.

Now middle school is here and I’m nearly in tears.   Yesterday his English teacher emailed me and said that he has not turned any homework in at all. When she questioned him, he said something about being too busy taking care of his pet and starting dinner.  She requested that I make time for homework.  He does have time for homework and does homework every night.  I was shocked, mad for him lying and confused.  I told her we would sit down with him to talk.

At first he said he didn’t lie, he does have to feed his lizard when he gets home and he does have to set the table.  Both of those tasks are before and after his homework.  He had all of his homework in his binder but didn’t turn any of it in.  So two weeks into the school year and he is failing both Math and English.  He didn’t turn in the homework because 1) the teacher didn’t ask for it outright and 2) he has a hard time getting his binder rings to open.  Of course I was exasperated.  We were putting everything in the binder so he could find it and so he wouldn’t fail a binder check (apparently the teacher holds the binder in the air and shakes papers loose).  He would be devastated if this happened to him in front of the class.

We fixed the issue by putting homework in a folder in his binder and telling him to put the homework in the teacher’s inbox even if she doesn’t ask or remind him.  We made a chart and plan to check Edline (online school account) every night until he is on track.  As we were talking I could literally see him withdrawing into himself.  Of course it made me go from mad to incredibly sad.

Now he just came home from school.  He told me he turned everything in to his Math and English teachers.  His Math teacher then took him to the Counselor to have him placed in a different Math class starting tomorrow.

I’m confused and I really don’t know where to begin.  Additionally, we just closed on a house and will be starting a new middle school in the 2nd quarter.  I know the timing is horrible.  I feel like I failed him for the upcoming move and because I didn’t follow through with testing in 3rd grade.  My husband was not on board with testing him or “labeling” him then.  At the same time DH worked tirelessly with him to help him become a stronger more focused student, both then and now.

It’s truly heartbreaking to see him help his older brother with his advanced class homework, but at the same time be unable to help himself.  I really don’t know what to do at this point.  I’ve started with an email to his counselor.

Please provide any advice or insights with your middle school child.  Thank you.
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