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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ILs and parents got in a disagreement over our wedding (5+ years ago) and while my parents don't really hold grudges, my MIL in particular has been cold toward my mother ever since. They are civil, kiss hello at kids b-day parties and they invited my parents to my BILs wedding, etc. but not too friendly (my MIL avoids her presence, doesn't ask too many questions, never invites them over when they are in town, etc.). This has always bothered me (My mom notices it, but it bothers me more) and recently I asked my MIL to make more of an effort to be less cold to my mom. Not best friends, just don't avoid her when you see her.

[b]She was quiet about it in the moment and then later in private, had a long talk with my DH about how she doesn't want me to mention it anymore. She said she was hurt by an action at the wedding (a religious issue -- and we are the same religion, go figure) and can't get over it and won't get over it. She said that while she genuinely loves and likes me, she thinks I put my mother on a pedestal and doesn't want to hear how my mother is a saint anymore. She also said how she feels unappreciated by me and that I don't treat my MIL like a mom. [/b]
I have complicated feelings about my MIL. She helps me out with my kids and does nice things like bring over take out, etc., but has said degrading things about my DH, and overall It really does bother me that she is apologetically rude to my mom. [b]I don't like to see my mother be treated poorly and I find it unfair that my mother in law is the rude one here, but I can't mention how it bothers me or why my mother deserves more respect.[/b] Part of me wants to move back where my parents live and not have to deal with ILs on a regular basis, but that can't happen anytime soon. Part of me want to stop seeing my ILs so frequently (I see her at least once a week, sometimes more) but that means my kids wouldn't see her and I don't want to do that to them. I do appreciate her, but the things she does as well as her somewhat odd/cold personality make me feel distant from her.

[b]Communicating hasn't worked and she basically asked me to stop communicating about it.[/b] I'm not really sure what my next move is. I just want her to understand that by being rude to my mom she is being rude to me. 
[/quote]

Your MIL sounds VERY manipulative. [/quote]

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