Reply to Cut out one parent...how to deal with loss of the good parent

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[quote=Anonymous]In a similar situation, but it's my dad I have restricted and my mom I tried to keep a relationship with.  I offered opportunities to have her come up solo, meet for lunch or dinner so she could see the kids, but she never took me up on them.  We lived 25 miles away.

I hope it works better for you, but for me, it was another loss to grieve when she chose my dad's disfunction over having a relationship with her daughter and grandkids.  We then moved out of the area, so the possibility for local meet ups no longer exists.  She came up once right before we moved, nearly two years after the estrangement, but now the kids haven't seen her in more than two years.

I try to understand that I have no idea what goes on inside anyone else's marriage, that I don't know what he would do or say to her to keep her from coming to see us....but it still hurts.  They appear to very codependent and now have health issues (they're both around 70).  She still writes letters a couple of times a year, and sends presents to the kids for their birthdays.  I send photos to her email address, and try to help her keep in touch with them.  But she hasn't called since we moved and has ignored my hints at Skype (which I know they have since they've used it for years with my nephew).   Hopefully your dad will be able to respond the separate means of communicating with you and your family.

If not, sometimes you just have to let go of the idea you had for what your parents would be like as grandparents.  Regardless of the reason why, that's not a fun process.[/quote]

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